History
Student: I wish I’d been born about 4,000 years ago.
Teacher: Why?
Student: I wouldn’t have to learn so much history.
Helps
Where is the best place to find a helping hand?
At the end of your arm.
Healthy Place
VISTOR: Is this a healthy place to live in?
LOCAL YOKEL: Yessir! When I arrived here I couldn’t walk or eat solid food.
VISTOR: What was the matter with you?
LOCAL YOKEL: Nothing—I was born here.
Homework
Bobby: Dad, I’m too tired to do my homework.
Dad: How, my boy, hard work never killed anyone yet.
Bobby: Well, I don’t want to run the risk of being the first.
Houses
Q: What clothing does a house wear?
A: A ddress
Hills and Pills
Q: What's the difference between a hill and a pill?
A: Ones hard to get up the other is hard to get down!
Houses
Q: What clothing does a house wear?
A: Address
"He must be pretty good."
"Not really. It took him nine years to find out he wasn't supposed to blow through it."
Submitted by Mary Kate, age 9
History Test Question
Q: What did Napoleon become on his 30th birthday?
A: A year older.
